Earliest sexual memories

When i was a young boy, my first introduction to anything sexual was national geographic magazine. i remember the images vividly. African women, sagging breasts, large hoop earrings, simple but ornate rings all the way up their necks. And my father saying - it's just national geographic, to my mother. 

When I was 10, the first real "wow, now that's a woman and that means something" moment was seeing a picture of Sophia Loren - whom I still have the hots for even at her prime older age - in a bathing suit. Learning, years later, that she bore a striking resemblance to my mother as a young woman ... But i digress. 

Seeing her, in voluptuous, real woman beauty ... I realized how amazing the female body was. The first time cum came out of my young manhood was while staring at a picture of Sophia. i thought i had broken myself - ha. 

my fantasies shortly thereafter became very defined ... And will probably come as little surprise to Mistress ... Even at a very young age, I always knew ... Sexually, i was submissive. my fantasies were wrapped around being taken, kidnapped even, by a dominant, older woman or women. Being locked away. Kept. Held. Owned. For their pleasure. Used as they saw fit. 

While I no doubt fantasized about other things, these were the fantasies that stuck in my young head. 

Now, 30 some years later, though having experienced the pleasure of submission, i feel like, for the first time, i am truly experiencing it for the first time. Being owned. Belonging to. And it is much more then pre-pubescent fantasized thoughts. It is real. And powerful. And fulfilling. 

Thank you Mistress. For making my fantasy better in reality. 

Oh just imagining

Thinking about Mistress in Her headphones and hands wrapped around a controller, trash talking Her opponents as She throttles bodies while playing Call of Duty. Imagining Her eyes get wild and dilated. The sweat beading on Her brow. One by one mowing down Her virtual enemies. 

Picturing Mistress at a video store picking out Her favorite movies. Does She linger?  Does She go right to Her choice?  Does She inquire of the employees for suggestions?  Does She smile when something catches Her attention?

Considering Mistress while She watches sports. Totally seeing Her get into Her favorite team. Shouting at the tv.  Jumping from the chair when something great happens. Whoop whooping and hollering with high fives and little dances. (At least this is how i see Her). 

So much to imagine and picture about Mistress in little moments like these. So much time to get to know and learn. All about these and more. So happy to belong to Her. 

Short one

such a long day on the road today.  Tons of work when i got home. But Mistress is still a constant in thought and heart. Kubrick and Tarantino. Mistress never ceases to amaze Her sweet.  She continues to blossom unceasingly. Like a never ending bloom in the eyes of Her sweet. 

Discipline, instruction and reminders

Today, Mistress reminded Her sweet of something regarding discipline, instruction and reminders. 

The Greek word used for discipline in the Bible is one that means training, education, instruction. It differs from most people's understanding of the word in that the emphasis is far from punishment, rather instruction and guidance. 

Mistress have Her darlings and Her sweet a gentle but stern reminder today. The purpose of the reminder: guidance and training. Education. Discipline. Her blog went further into Her thoughts on the matter of discipline and punishment and their differences. 

Mistress is truly guiding Her darlings, Her sweet. She wants to help them to grow with Her direction. When She asks for certain things, the purpose is not to please Herself (well, not completely) but rather to educate and train Her slave(s).  

That distinction was known prior, but something dialed in a little more clearly today with Her sweet. 

Thank you Mistress for Your discipline.  Your sweet appreciates it greatly.  

Collar arrived

Today, a little package arrived in the mail. i honestly didn't know what it was. But as i tore it open and saw a small canvas pouch bag, the thought came - could it be?  Is it?  And sure enough as i opened the pouch, a teal, leather strap unveiled itself. And as i pulled, my heart began to race a bit. It was my collar. 

What a beautiful piece of jewelry Mistress picked out for Her sweet. Long leather straps that wind around the wrist. Bound together. So appropriate. The color is perfect as well. A decadent teal green. And a simple stainless steel symbol of my relationship with Mistress - the infinity symbol. 

Wrapping the collar around my wrist was an amazing moment. Though Mistress was "there", the only thing better would have been if She would have placed it on my wrist for me. But nonetheless ... When wrapped, it felt right. Set. 

Though i've worn collars in the past as part of sessions, this is my first collar ... First symbol of my submission and love. i couldn't imagine a better Mistress to share this path with. Thank you Mistress. For everything. 

Sunny days and spring

So this is just a little different entry today. While working on the lawn, i was reminded how much i enjoy spring. The warmer weather does good for the soul - everyone's, not just mine. It's like a rebirth from sweaters and turtlenecks and thermal underwear into tshirts and shorts. 

And spring feels like possibility. It always has. That more can happen. That something awaits.  To be discovered. 

It's a smell. In the air. Like sensory memory. Cut grass. Tree buds opening. Sun on skin. 

It's a feel. Like the old touch of your favorite shirt. Wind on skin. Hands over grass. Hot steering wheel. 

It's life. 

Your sweet loves spring Mistress. And sharing it for the first time with You. 

Mistress' touch

Today i saved my blog for after the planned session with Mistress. Though "life happened", this afternoon was still a very pleasurable one. Why? 

Mistress' eyes, Her touch, Her presence. 

Just two short hours - not enough time for a session, but plenty enough time to be lost in Her laugh, Her smile, Her eyes. To feel Her hand on my leg and grazing my fingers. To listen to Her talk and, with attentive ears, learn more about Her. To be drawn deeper into my Mistress. Be folded up inside of Her. Like a tiny caterpillar in its chrysalis. Like home until birth. 

Leaving Mistress was so difficult. But the time with Her was priceless. Unforgettable. 

Feeling Her against me ... Ugh ... No words for that. Pasting my eyes shut as She kissed me (which is not normal by the way - usually my eyes are open - a way to gauge and keep control of the moment). Knowing She was directing the moment. i was there for Her. 

An amazing afternoon indeed. Not what was planned - that will come. But in any ways, much better. 

Thank you my Mistress.